(via orgasm)

positivemilk:

But mom how am I suppose to buy drugs with a gift card

(via fatwink)

vibesflint:

if i sing around you i am 150% comfortable with you because i fucking hate my singing voice

(Source: whoisjohnocallaghan, via cbucks)

nidoqueeen:

we don’t need to ask for directions, helen.

(Source: crazycatslovers, via cbucks)

fartgallery:

silver-the-little-monster:

fartgallery:

just bought a bunch of condoms cause i am plan to do a lot of the sex 2nite!

Those are balloons.

I couldn’t decide on one response so here are a bunch of them:

• talk about a blow job
• im going to have to inflate first
• hopefully I dont burst early
• the balloon wont be the only thing kept off the ground
• theres a party in my pants
• i might have to pump it a little first
• im gonna have pop-pop
• haha yeah

(via spidermanxo)

iwishihadafather:

when you’re typing “good morning” and you accidentally type “hood morning”

(via lifeis4chumps)

ghostgif:

98% of divorces are caused by Mario Party 

(via lifeis4chumps)

(Source: peetaslongbun, via spidermanxo)

nicolasiscaged:

[12 year old kid from the 50s who plays baseball voice] why i oughta

(via i-assume-youre-done)

lambhoof:

This backwards hat gives me the ability to skateboard

(via i-assume-youre-done)

slenclerman:

yes friends let us blaze the marijuana! four hundred and twenty haha

(via i-assume-youre-done)

shollkee:

nah man i wasnt born in any of those 12 months

(via h-ooligan)

geeknip:

fish-d:

giantspacefetus:

get in, no time to explain

I just showed this to my dad and he said “time to split”

yet another person math problems warn us about

(Source: nemoi, via h-ooligan)

(Source: juztgurlythingz, via i-assume-youre-done)

(Source: thechocolatebrigade, via monkeypus)